Winter worrying…
People always ask what flower farmers do in the winter months.
And my answer is, “Mostly, we plant seeds and we worry!” 😳
Actually, to be honest we worry in spring, summer, and autumn too, but it’s somehow different from winter worry. After all, in the busy seasons, the hustle keeps us moving. The work never stops. And there is little time or energy to dwell on whether the decision that has to be made right now is the right one or not.
But in the winter, there is time for doubt! Time for number crunching, and comparison, and regret with a capital R. The internal monolog most days goes something like this: “Remember those calla lilies that didn’t produce! Oh, and those lilies that got too hot in the crates! Why did I think that would work! What if there is another drought this year? Oh, or flooding! What if no one buys flowers this year! Will we need to buy a new van for deliveries? Gah!”
Winter is also the time for lists: lists of what should be done better, lists of what needs to be fixed, lists of things to buy, lists of things that could happen if only we had the umph and more hours in the day to make it work, and giant to-do lists that fill every spare inch of our scrap paper and muddle our already crowded minds.
Combine all these lists, and worries, and doubts and pair it with important seasonal tasks like purchasing seeds and supplies in bulk with our dwindling savings and it is a cocktail for a mental meltdown! I can’t tell you how many times I have come to the conclusion in the past months that we are more than a bit delusional to think that farming flowers can be sustainable in any way shape or form! And that’s just part of our larger plans for community gathering places and events which sound even more insane to us when we are in winter worry mode.
I suspect we all feel like this in in our personal lives too. Why is it in dreary, cold, gray January that we are supposed to rejuvenate our lives with new resolutions and new goals? Blech. My social media feeds are filled with motivated humans with their clean and bright houses, organized email in boxes, and rose colored plans for a prosperous and fun filled 2023. Meanwhile, I’m staring at the piles of laundry and dishes and crates of dahlia tubers that should have been divided in November, wondering when I will have the energy to do what needs to be done, and asking why I shouldn’t just take a nap instead. Someone really screwed up the calendar when they put the New Year in the depths of the winter doldrums.
I don’t have a magic answer about how to shift out of the winter worries. To be honest, I often just have to trust that the seasons will shift me, that the days will get longer, and the worries will slowly become dreams and goals again. Usually, seed starting is the magic that does it for me. Watching roots snake down and green cotyledons pop up in rows, I see the “mountains” of soil that they move and imagine them as a tiny chorus singing, “You can do it!”
If you’ve never planted seeds in January before, I highly recommend it!
But until the seedlings pop up, here are 5 things that I am trying to do to quiet the winter worries for today.
1. I found a video of honey bees in the poppies and it reminded me that growing seasonal flowers on our farm is more than just a fad, or a hair-brained idea. It is a mission, a quest if you will. And a timely one, when so much of our world depends on us healing our environment. And all good quests always have that rainy dreary, “mountains of doom” part that has to be endured when the people on the journey become better, stronger, and braver. So, I just need to remember that I’m a Hobbit on a quest. Winter worries are a necessary part of what it means to be a farmer right now, and it’s okay to have them because I know that the mission is worth it. And for today, that mission happens to be happy and healthy bees buzzing in poppies. I’ve posted the video on Instagram and Facebook for you and i hope you find a photo of what you love to make you brave.
2. I’m watching for signs of growth, no matter how small, and celebrating them. Angie sent me a photo of the very first tulips pushing up in the field tunnel planting. So I know and have faith that this winter season has an end and I can trust that the next season is coming. In other news, I showered, put in a load of laundry, and checked my email rather than scrolling through Instagram this morning, and now I’m writing this blog post, so cheers to putting one hobbit foot in front of the other!
3. I’m looking at real hard data to make decisions. Due to a vitality grant, Angela and I have been working with Kitchen Table Consultants (KTC) to do very real business planning based on gritty real numbers from our first year in business. As you all know, looking at the real can be absolutely terrifying, but here’s how it’s helping me today. My biggest worry is that what we are trying to do is not financially sustainable and that I’m dragging my lovely sister on a crazy journey when we should have taken a completely different path. Most start ups and particularly farm business start ups are considered risky. Throw climate change weather patterns into the mix and the chances for success are even more slim. However, on paper, with real numbers, using models provided by our experts at KTC, the problem simplifies because in May the cash flow problems disappear and the business looks healthy again. Looking at the real doesn’t mean the worry disappears, I’m still anxious about what we do between now and mid April, but at least the path has come into focus and I don’t have worry about the entire journey, just the next few boulders and that pesky rope bridge with rickety planks.
4. We found our people! Angie and I had a lovely brainstorming session over lunch on Monday with Katie at Back Mountain Flower Farm and Sabine from Full Circle Farm and it reminded us that there are others who are just as crazy as we are. But more importantly, they are the kind of people that you want to journey with on these missions. They are deeply committed to their communities, to the land that they farm, and to their families. And they are both moving into the unknown parts of their dreams with lots of courage and it’s great fun to compare and contrast our business models and paths. Their bravery is contagious and we want to be like them. If you are feeling like your winter journey is rough, find your people and have a second or third breakfast. Do it, even if it means that you have to put on real pants!
5. And now for the hard one. I’m asking for what I need! We really want to grow our CSA Membership for the 2023 season. In our opinion, the CSA model is the number one way for our small farm in its fledgling years to provide the very best flowers to the very best people in the most ecological and environmentally friendly way. And it helps us as farmers to solve our seasonal cash flow issues without taking out large bank loans. We know that it’s a bit of an ask because it means our CSA members pay a larger payment all at once in the early spring before the flowers bloom, but we know from experience that it eliminates so much waste (flowers do not wilt waiting to be sold at market), so much time and labor (more CSA members means we don’t need to find, deliver to, and staff another market location), and in turn we can provide the very best experience for YOU with lots of discounts on workshops and U-pick events, more varieties of blooms, better quality of blooms, and a sense of connection to the land and to the seasons that sustain us all.
We recognize that not everyone wants to buy flowers this way and we will continue to have other ways to be a part of our crazy adventure. But if you can swing it, and want to helps us over some boulders and rope bridges this winter, please do come along for the journey! It’s going to be gorgeous!
